Turn Your Pain into Power

Here is my thought for today:

Our problems can either make us bitter or better. You are better having gone through pain, if you learn something then if you had never gone through it at all. Turn your pain into power!

This past week has been one of an emotional roller coaster for me. When I was younger I always heard, “you can learn by listening or by experience.” Well, this time around I learned by experience. I had some time with God yesterday and He reminded me, “Shannen-Rose, no! you will never be perfect by human standards BUT you are perfect in my eyes. When I made you I knew the things you would do, good and bad, but there is so much hope and so much more for you I just want you to learn from the bad experiences to help it build you into a better person than you were the day before.”

There are those people out there who judge us because of the things we do. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t take the time to think about the things that may be going on in that persons life. Now, that doesn’t excuse any bad behavior but it can teach us compassion to pray for them and share our love with them. God made us for each other. Iron sharpens iron. We need each other. We need each other to call us out on whats wrong but also love us and help us to get to what’s right BUT be careful, never help someone else more than they are willing to help themselves. It’s all about seeing the heart my friends.

I love me some God time.

Stay encouraged my friends!

Keep On Growing 

Sometimes I wonder why it is so hard to grow spiritually and mentally.  It’d be nice to say I embrace pain but reality is that it hurts so darn bad. And when you know time is really one of the only healers, you wish time would just fly by so you don’t have to feel the pain any longer. At least that’s how I feel most of the time. 

The nice thing about situations like this is that you become so much stronger and wiser and learn about yourself and others. Sometimes you see how much strength you have inside, or don’t. It’s all part of the learning process to build yourself up to be the best you can be. 

Experience is one hell of a teacher. 

To Love

Loving me is no burden

No burden at all.

It’s a gift,

with a bow,

at the top,

Ya know?

Come let me love you

And show you what it truly means.

Love that wants nothing but what’s best

for you.

Then me.

Love is selfless

And it’s pure 

In it,

All things secure. 

Like,

a deep royal purple satin silk

Blowing in the wind.

Refined by the freedom the gusts of it give. 

To love me is no burden,

No burden at all

It’s a gift

From above 

Yes,

That’s what it is 

to love. 

Other People Feel

How you make other people feel about themselves, I’ve decided, says a lot about who you are as a person.  

A blessing and downfall of mine is that I care about other people too much. I want them to be the happiest they can be, but at what cost? I’m known to give my all or not give at all. I’m finding the balance.
Daisy Update: She’s growing up on me! I love her so much. Sometimes, I think she has more sass than me.


So let it Overflow

I need not someone to pour in my cup to make it full. My cup is already full.  May the outpouring of any other love make it overflow

I will surely love myself. Giving someone else the opportunity to love me too. Why burden them with the job to love me when I can continously love myself.  I learn to love by how I am loved by God.  Not only learn how to love others but also love myself.  

Loving me is no burden. 

Daisy Update: She’s made friends with the other dogs in the apartment complex when we go out for walks.  Is nice to see her run around 🙂 Plus it makes her tired later 

The World can Change Their Hearts. 

Scars are beautiful. 

Physically. Mentally. Spiritually. 

We all have them. 

And for some reason, many people find them ugly. 

They’re wrong.

Because we go through things and each person is unique and each situation is different each scar means something special. Whether it came from physical, mental, or spiritual hurt, it makes our story our story. Don’t be afraid to share your story, because the story of your scars just may heal the scars in someone else’s story . 

Daisy Update: no pictures this time but she did survive the weekend at my best friends house. My best friend has an evil cat and I spent the weekend at her house. It was quite the weekend, quite the battles. Let’s just say I’ll never be sending Daisy over to anyone to defend me. 

I Will Find Me

The essence of who I am 

is who I’m called to be by the great Almighty. 

In His hands my life lies

Pulling away from all the tangled knots that were tied during late nights

spent crying because of bought into foolish lies.

The enemy crouched like a lion to sit there and pry,

just as I were his prey

waiting to defeat me and step on the ground where I lay.

Those were the days, running astray, moving farther and farther away from the One who loved me best

As He watched me run to others to try and find rest. 

Acceptance and love from a broken word

is where I tried to be whole,

thought it would complete my soul, 

but it just left me.

A girl without pearls, 

running through the wide open gates

looking past the stray and narrow because I didn’t want to wait.

Being unsure of my fate…

He suddenly met me, 

where I had fallen on my knees

Tired and Weary, truly knowing my only rest was in Thee.

How my heart had been longing and wishing to stay true

to the One who’d always loved me, 

Whose love forever new. 

Healed scars are the remains of the past that I held

Moving forward in grace, 

at a slow and steady place, where I know nothing but to excel.

The essence of who I am 

is who I’m called to be. 

Approaching my destiny, 

in the Almighty, 

is where I will find me. 

 

DAISY UPDATE: She’s good! I decided to get her hair cut differently and now she actually looks like a girl! She’s so spoiled. Ugh. I realize this is my fault. smh. We are getting ready to move to a new apt so I’m interested to see how she adapts to this new lifestyle. 

The Townspeople (and my surgeries)

There once was a beautiful land where two townspeople lived where the wind sang and the waves waved. They townspeople smiled from ear to ear as they looked up to see this King who was on high. Externally, they were fully satisfied. Internally, they were fully satisfied. The sky shined so bright as the clouds rolled by but one day, the sky got dark and the two townspeople’s eyes lost their spark. As He looked down among the townspeople, He knew that they learned evil had a personality. The two townspeople felt inadequate. Hiding from the one who loved them most. A curse filled the land and the townspeople began to multiply, but as they multiplied the darker it became and the more selfish they got. Evil roamed the land, destroyed all good things and began to deceive. Little did they realize that they were the King’s children, they began to want separation from the King thinking that they didn’t need Him. No longer could they realize what was real as He became a fairytale to them. His story became a fable as they labeled Him less than able. Their hearts began to bleed to death as they disgustingly looked at the One who loved them with disrespect. They roamed the land like zombies, as their hearts became dark but couldn’t explain why deep down they still needed him. That fact was not acknowledged but ignored, as each day got darker than before. 

The King looked down, still madly in love with His children and decided to come down as one of them, young and a man he wrapped himself inside their curse, reintroduced himself as one of them and met them in their hurt. As he walked the land giving and showing love that he wanted them to understand and accept, the townspeople built a wall and pushed away his offer of love, laughed and ridiculed him for his kindness. He decided to walk the land with the patience of a solider until he knew that their pain could be over. The day came where the townspeople were blood thirty for this man, they planned a scenario as blood dropped from their lips. This man King let them beat him with the hands he made with their hatred in their heart, as he carried the dark curse that filled the land on his back. He was punished for loving them, yet he still walked the land knowing what the future would hold realizing this was a part of the plan. He knew if no one intervened that true death is what each townsperson would have to face so he kept his eyes on the sky as he stepped in and took their place. 

He was murdered, and this so called King fell as a dead man. Little did they know, but He surely knew, that he held up each one of their hearts as he died and in that moment, the curse died too. 

His love was so big, his love was so strong that even death could not keep him away from them. And to prove that it worked, this man came back to life (:-0) to show them that He was their King the whole time. And now that the curse was gone, the people could walk with Him as they were originally supposed to…

And here is where I want to chime in. These past 5 months of being at home, immobile, trying to stay motivated day to day…my close relationship with the Lord began to dwindle. Shoot, even before the surgeries it was beginning to dwindle off. As I read that story above, I know one thing is for sure, that I am a townsperson. I’ve shoved Him away so many times, disrespected Him and decided not to care. But as reality hits, in that moment of spare time you have once a month I think to myself “what in the world am I doing?” Gladly, I know that He is still as close to me as He always has been, he is just waiting on me to come back wanting to show me how great his love is, wanting me to know that the inadequacy, hurt and shame that I feel died when He did all those years ago. I’m so blessed to know this story because what a story it is! A true story at that. I guess now it is time to reach back out for Him. I know He is there with His hands out, waiting for me. I don’t know why sometimes it seems so hard to reach for Him when He is right next to me…that’s that curse still inside my head. But I have to realize that it is gone and that even though I mess up, even though I walk away, even though I put Him on the back burner…I am always, and I mean always, welcomed back. Quite reassuring, actually. And so my friends, this is where I will leave you, to make the choice to walk with Him like we were originally supposed to or not. Just know that the as long as our spirit man/woman inside us has legs, we can always walk back. It’s just a matter of if we really want to or not and if we believe He loves us like He says he does, even after we’ve hurt Him with the things we do.

It’s time for me to start walking.

 

Daisy Update: This little girl has been my companion over the past five months. She has kept me company and kept me going through my surgeries and my healing time. I mean, she sleeps a lot because I can’t play with her like I used to…she seems bored. But I love her just the same. So thankful for this crazy little flower…she’s a keeper.

This is where I’ve been sitting the past five months and she’s been right there with me!

We do everything together.

3rd Surgery Down!

What What! It’s been 6 weeks since my 3rd surgery and I am feeling really good! I’ve been using a walker, which reminds me of my sweet grandma who used to have one so therefore I am happy. Just like Grandma. I’ve been doing in home therapy and today was my first day in outpatient therapy! So happy! Started putting weight on my leg too. This post is just an update – My 4th and last surgery happens August 10th. Can’t wait until it’s all done

 

Daisy Update: She got a fence but she is scared to go in the grass….We have to fix this or else she will keep peeing on the patio.