I almost forgot.
We were talking and laughing on the phone and my friend had something to tell me. “Brace yourself, Rose, are you ready?” I responded cheerfully not knowing what was going to be said next was so serious. “I’m braced! Go ahead,” I said. “So…I may not be coming back to Georgia for longer than I thought. After training I’ll be stationed wherever they decide to put me, and I don’t know for how long.” Silence took over the conversation. I didn’t know what to say. “I could be stationed in the states or even in other countries,” my friend said. As I sat on the other side of the phone my mind was spinning round and round like a ferris wheel, only 10x faster. I knew myself. Being away from someone who is so close that I care about tremendously doesn’t do me well. I’ve tried it before. Especially if there is no set timeframe…my smile began to drop. I scooted my rolly chair back and put my feet up on the desk as I rested my head on the cushion of the chair. “Not again. It’s always something.” I thought. “Are you okay?” I heard my friend quietly say over the phone. I forgot silence had taken over the conversation. I said I was fine, I was just thinking. My friend had to go. We got off the phone and I hopped in my car and started driving. “What’s the point of ever getting excited about something? I asked God. “If it’s just going to be taken away or a disappointment what’s the point?” I was frustrated, annoyed and a little angry, too. As I continued to drive I put on my music thinking it would help my mood. I put on Lecrae and Andy Mineo since they are perfect for any occasion and I figured I would just get myself hyped up on Jesus hoping that would distract me from what just happened. As I sang carelessly through the next few songs the Spirit touched me and reminded me of something I’ve repeatedly learned throughout my years. The Lord said, “Don’t let your excitement of something outside of Me overwhelm you so much that you forget about Me. I give you blessing so you can be excited and joyful, but don’t forget Who gave it to you.” Of course. I’m notorious for attaching myself to people and situations that when it fails I become very disappointed and have to build myself back up again from the ground up. “Not this time,” I mumbled. “Don’t force anything. Let things be what they are and if they have to change, let them. It’s okay to be disappointed. But learn to accept it, let it go, and keep moving forward with a positive attitude.” I instantaneously became determined not to let this shake me so bad that I would have to start building myself up from the ground again. I haven’t talked to my friend since but hopefully I will soon. Sometimes things don’t turn out like we want them to, but just like for me, don’t forget Whom everything comes from because He is the real source of any excitement we ever experience anyway.